Postpartum Anxiety and Intrusive Thoughts: What They Are and How to Get Support
You’re making dinner when your brain whispers: What if I dropped the knife? Driving down the highway: What if I just swerved... Rocking your newborn: What if she doesn’t wake up?
You don’t want these thoughts. In fact, they terrify you. But there they are—loud, vivid, unwanted. If this sounds familiar, you might be dealing with postpartum intrusive thoughts, a lesser-known but very common part of postpartum anxiety.
You're not alone, and you're not a danger to your baby. Let's talk about what’s actually going on.
What Are Intrusive Thoughts (And Why Do They Happen Postpartum)?
Intrusive thoughts are unwanted, often distressing mental images or ideas that pop into your mind seemingly out of nowhere. In the postpartum period, they might sound like:
What if I drop the baby down the stairs?
What if I fall asleep and smother them?
What if I snap and hurt them on purpose?
These thoughts are not desires—they’re fears. And they’re often a signal that your brain is on high alert, trying to protect your baby by scanning for every possible threat.
According to research from the Perinatal Anxiety Research Lab,
100% of new mothers report unwanted, intrusive thoughts of accidentally harming their baby.
50% of new mothers report intrusive thoughts of harming their baby on purpose, and still never act on them.
These thoughts can feel scary and isolating, but they’re incredibly common and treatable.
How Postpartum Anxiety Fuels These Thoughts
Postpartum anxiety doesn’t always look like panic. Sometimes, it looks like over-preparing, overthinking, and over-checking. When you’re constantly on edge—sleep-deprived, flooded with hormones, adjusting to a brand new identity—it’s no wonder your brain can’t turn off.
Intrusive thoughts often show up when:
You’re under high stress or sleep-deprived
You feel intense responsibility for your baby’s safety
You have a history of anxiety or OCD (even mild or undiagnosed)
You’re navigating trauma, perfectionism, or loss of control
And because they feel so wrong, moms often don’t talk about them—leading to more shame, fear, and silence.
What Helps: 4 Ways to Cope with Postpartum Intrusive Thoughts
While these thoughts can feel all-consuming, they don’t have to define your postpartum experience. Here are a few grounding shifts that can help:
1. Name It: “This is an intrusive thought—not a threat.”
The thought is not a sign you’ll act on it. It’s a symptom of anxiety, not your character. Labeling it helps reduce its power.
2. Don’t Fight It—Float Past It
Trying to suppress or “get rid of” the thought gives it more airtime. Instead, gently acknowledge it and refocus your attention without judgment.
3. Talk to Someone You Trust
Whether it’s a therapist, your partner, or another mom who gets it, saying it out loud reduces shame and reminds you you’re not the only one.
4. Know When to Get Help
If intrusive thoughts are making it hard to sleep, function, or bond with your baby—or if you're avoiding everyday activities for fear of harm—it’s time to reach out.
You Deserve More Than Just Coping
You don’t have to white-knuckle your way through new motherhood. And you definitely don’t have to wait until you’re falling apart to ask for support.
Therapy can help you:
Understand the roots of your anxiety and intrusive thoughts
Learn tools to regulate your nervous system
Feel more confident and connected in your role as a parent
You’re not dangerous. You’re a loving, attentive parent with a brain that’s working overtime to keep your baby safe.
Ready For More Support?
I’m Anne—a therapist specializing in postpartum and perinatal mental health. I work with overwhelmed moms navigating anxiety, identity shifts, and transitions in the early years of parenthood.
My style is direct and collaborative. We’ll talk through what’s coming up, name the patterns, and work together toward change. Whether we meet for a season or longer, my goal is to leave you with tools that last.
If you’re curious about therapy but unsure if it’s the right fit, I offer a free 20-minute consultation—no pressure, no commitment—just a chance to explore if this support could be helpful.
👉 Book your free consult here
